


The Right Answer

by writteninweakness



Series: Intelligence of the Heart [1]
Category: Helix Waltz (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, i maxed his favor before i finished chapter five and so there are no spoilers beyond that, spoilers for barris' favor route, this really tried to become more than a one shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 15:53:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19444663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writteninweakness/pseuds/writteninweakness
Summary: She always gives the answers she's expected to, but this time she doesn't want to, and it could change everything.





	The Right Answer

**Author's Note:**

> This is all sofihatter545’s fault. I’m not kidding. I wouldn’t have played this game if not for her telling me about it. I liked the look of Barris from the first time I saw him, I liked him more and more as I interacted with him, his favor quest was adorable, and I love that he is so popular when most times in games with dating elements, nice guys finish last.
> 
> The one gripe I had about his favor questline was the ending. It was too open ended for me. And I was also struggling to get through all the crap with Black Gloves and Magda’s mother being… a terrible human being, and so this is set in an AU before Barris being awesome in chapter six and all that comes after (I haven't quite finished the main plot but at this rate... give me a couple hours...) Right. AU after chapter five. And I will probably have to do another story after all that wonderful Barris plot in chapter six, but this time I think I'll wait until I'm caught up, lol.
> 
> The game ate my brain, so when I wasn’t sick and wasn’t playing, this happened.
> 
> Again, it is all sofihatter545′s fault. She even told me she wanted to see it if I wrote something, so… Yes. Blame her.

* * *

After another of her mother’s lectures and more harsh lessons because of her distraction—this was nearly worse than when she was basically punished for being curious about the slums—Magda was oversensitive to any small imperfection in her actions, more nervous than ever.

Tonight she would see him again, for the first time since his words… his gentle but powerful and dizzying ones. She’d been caught up with Kelly and Barbara in wondering who Mr. Barris could be interested in marrying. Barbara had joked about her becoming her aunt, but after he’d expressed his admiration for Acting Speaker Langlan—more than once, actually—Magda was almost certain that was who he meant even if that day he walked her home made her wonder if he might have spoken of her instead. When he told her that it was, though, she was still stunned.

Her mind had been whirling ever since, and her mother was annoyed with her, since she couldn’t help thinking of him. She’d told him that it needed careful consideration, and that wasn’t wrong, but it didn’t feel _right,_ either.

She had all these perfect responses based on what she knew of the people she spoke to, all the ones she had to give to get along and make friends and allies for restoring her family, and she’d even done that with him, since at first she understood so little of his work and what he meant when he spoke of business or politics, but the more she listened, the more she learned because he did take the time to explain it to her—and she found herself wanting to know more, not just for the sake of currying favor or even to understand him. She was still confused, but she saw what interested him in these matters, and she found she understood more and more, and that smile of his when she did was worth all her efforts.

Barris Sakan was a genuinely good man, and while she was sure her mother would only see the possible advantages in the match, the elevation of the Ellenstein name, Magda didn’t want to use him for that. He cared about her, wanted to protect her and share everything with her, which was why she couldn’t keep on the way she had been doing.

She’d been nervous all day because she would see him again, and she worried that her hesitation would make things awkward between them, but there was nothing more awkward than this pain weighing on her since his proposal. She had kept so much from him, pretended to be something she wasn’t to curry favor as she’d done with everyone else—dressing to please him and saying all the right things—and that wasn’t right.

She’d never felt more torn about what her mother had asked her to do than she did now, with him being so very kind and genuine with her. He wasn’t trying to use her as she had been told to use him. She no longer wanted to play these games her mother had taught her, and even if it cost her everything to do this, she knew what she must say to him tonight.

She stepped into the ballroom, already hating her heels and wishing that she could wear more sensible shoes. If she was Mr. Barris’ wife, would he care if she did? She thought perhaps he’d be just as considerate there as he was in everything else.

Her eyes found him all too quickly, even in this crowd. His coat was distinctive, of course, but she could only see his back from here—yet she knew him so well she knew that figure in an instant. She swallowed, forcing herself to venture closer.

She knew she was not supposed to show nerves, but her mother was not here to see her or reprimand her. If this got back to her, then it did. Magda would not pretend again, not with Mr. Barris. He deserved her honesty.

“Lady Ellenstein?” The way he always hesitated on her name made her smile, and he smiled back at her, shifting that book he never seemed to be without.

“Hello, Mr. Barris,” she said, now feeling quite shy when facing him. Where had all her determination gone? She tried to find words to start a conversation, but none of the usual ones came to her as she stood there, feeling foolish.

No, she could not do this. She _had_ to speak. She had practiced at least part of what she wanted to say to herself all the night before as she was unable to sleep. The words were chosen with care, knowing as well as she did the sorts of things that people were trying to overhear and use against others.

“This song is one we know well, isn’t it?” Barris asked, and she nodded, since they danced to it often at the various balls and functions when their paths crossed. “Would you hate to repeat its steps again?”

She shook her head, grateful to him for the idea, since it was not as easy for someone to eavesdrop on a conversation while dancing, even when the floor was crowded. Still, she had to be careful. She couldn’t tell him everything here.

“I have been doing more thinking about… starting that business,” she began, aware he was frowning ever so slightly, “and I find there is much I need to discuss about a possible partnership. Would you mind if we spoke of these matters in private sometime?”

He shook his head. “Of course not. Such matters are quite complex and not meant for the dance floor.”

She had to smile again, since he understood her so well. “Thank you. I do not know how best to handle this, and I would defer to your expertise.”

She thought she saw him flush, or perhaps that was the light in the ballroom. It could even have been the dance. “I do not consider myself an expert in these matters, though I suppose I have the benefit of being in this world for longer and thus gaining some familiarity with how these matters tend to be handled.”

“I believe I have already benefited a great deal from your wisdom,” she told him, “and I would like to continue to do so.”

“Then I will make all the arrangements for us to speak tomorrow.”

“Thank you.”

The dance ended, and she almost wanted to stay for another and another, even with how much her shoes were already pinching her feet. She could almost forget that when she was with him, so easy was his lead to follow and his support so gentle and firm.

“I look forward to our further discussion,” Barris told her, and she smiled at him before reluctantly moving off to spend time with others at the ball.

She knew that staying by his side was dangerous. Barbara might already know that Barris asked her to marry him, and she supported his choice, but others would not do so. Magda could not help remembering Viscount Sakan’s words about a woman in love becoming less desirable, and if he felt so, assuredly her mother and the patron did as well.

She could not afford to let them know of her intentions, so she had to act as though nothing had passed between her and Barris, just their usual conversations and dancing, no more. No less, either. These games were so… unpleasant, and she hated them, but she kept the smile on her face, hoping that when it was all done, it would be worth it.

* * *

“Miss, there is someone here for you,” the maid said, and Magda saw her mother frowning at her. She had not scheduled anything today, deliberately keeping a couple of invitations out of her mother’s eyes, since she felt this meeting with Barris far too important to delay, and her mother wouldn’t even have wanted her to go anyway, since they came from minor families, but she wanted her schedule free anyway.

“Who is it?” her mother asked, her voice sharp, but Barbara Sakan bounded in before the maid could answer.

“Hello, Magda,” Barbara said, smiling warmly. “I hope you don’t mind me coming by to get you. I was going to buy some things, but Asteria wasn’t there to go shopping with me, and I don’t want to go alone. You’ll come, right?”

“Of course,” Magda agreed before her mother could object. She followed the girl out to the gate where a carriage waited for them. She knew she wasn’t dressed at the height of fashion her mother would have wanted, but it was comfortable, and if she was right that Barbara had come on Mr. Barris’ behalf again, she did not want to delay or say no.

And… if Mr. Barris didn’t like her dressing a bit plainer, then she would like to know that now, too, before things went any further. She did not believe he wanted to marry her only for how she looked, but if she had to be perfect and fashionable all the time, she didn’t want to get married.

Barbara hopped up into the carriage. Magda went to climb in and found a hand waiting to help her. She almost gasped when she saw Mr. Barris, but she recovered quickly, flushing all the same as she got in. She wanted to sit opposite him, but he kept her hand, tugging it slightly to urge her next to him.

“Carriages can be quite noisy,” he said, “and as we had important business to discuss, I’d like to be able to hear clearly.”

She nodded, still red as she sat down, aware of Barbara giggling across from them. He looked at her, and she stilled, going silent. The carriage moved away from Magda’s home and into the city, pausing in front of a shop a few streets away.

Barbara smiled as she leaned out the door, calling to the driver. “I’ll start here.”

She jumped down, not waiting for help, and rushed off to the shop. Magda swallowed, hesitating. If Mr. Barris was here, she should remain, shouldn’t she? And yet… she’d never been alone with anyone like this before, always meeting in public places.

The carriage started moving again, and she frowned.

“This part of the city is always cramped,” Barris told her. “The drivers usually have to circle around a few times before they can find a place to wait for anyone, even if that person is from one of the four families.”

“Oh.”

He gave her that small smile of his. “I thought it best. There are few places where two people can be alone in our world without servants overhearing or other interference. The cost of secrecy is high, and I did not want anything to damage your reputation. I suppose in some sense I’m protecting myself as well. I… If you had wished to reject me, I would much rather no one know of it.”

She lowered her head, still blushing. “That’s… not… I…”

“I told you before that if you do not feel the same, if you wish to choose otherwise, that I will not cause trouble for you. I… I will not take back the Sakan family’s support because of my pride. I know I have placed you in somewhat of an uncomfortable position, as you are expected to do a great deal more than simply marry into a good family as other noble ladies might hope to do. I would help you if I could, though that is not the only reason for me extending my... offer.”

She nodded. “I know. I just… There is something I must tell you first, and if… if you still feel the same after I do tell you, then I… Then I have an answer for you, but… I must know yours to what I am about to tell you first.”

He frowned. “I see. You believe I will dislike you after such knowledge?”

“I… Yes. Or… You should,” she whispered, forcing herself to look at him. “You… I won’t lie to you anymore. I have already done so much lying already, and I hate myself for it.”

He gave her hand a gentle pat. “In this world we live in, almost everyone lies at every social gathering, from concealing bad moods and poor health to far darker secrets and manipulations. It is all about power, and to have power, you cannot show weakness or allow anyone to use one against you. As much as I would prefer it were otherwise, even I lie about certain matters and manipulate events when I must.”

“Yes, but I believe you do so with good intentions, as I have never seen you do other than work for what is best for all of us, but I…” She closed her eyes, taking a breath. “I believed my cause was right because I was raised to believe so, to do what I was told and not ask questions, but since I’ve been in this world, I find myself with more and more and… I do not know that I ever worked for good, only for what someone else wanted.”

“You mean restoring your family to the senate.”

“Yes, but more than that.” She bit her lip, knowing how much her mother would scold her for it, but she couldn’t help her fear. “I am getting too far ahead of things. I… I need to start by telling you something very important, something that may mean the rest of the conversation isn’t even necessary and I—”

“You can tell me anything you need to, and I want you to understand that. I already told you that I would not withdraw the support my family has given, nor will I hold your choice against you. You are a great deal younger than me, though I see surprising maturity and understanding in you as well as your innocence and even… naivete.”

“You think too highly of me.”

“I don’t think anyone could think too highly of you, Magda.”

She wanted to be happy he’d chosen to use her first name, but she couldn’t be. “That is what I need to tell you… My name isn’t Magda.”

* * *

“It isn’t?”

Barris considered the possibility that she simply preferred another name, one not appropriate in their circles, but her distress said it was much more than just a case of distaste for the name her parents gave her and something of much greater weight. That, he supposed, was not entirely unexpected, considering her sudden appearance in society after her family’s fall from grace. He knew little of the particulars himself, though he assumed his brother did, being Lady Eliza’s contemporary, unlike Barris, who had been a child at the time.

He had done some investigation into what had caused Magda’s family to be cast out, wanting to stop his nephew from supporting them if it were to bring ruin to the Sakan family—his brother had already done enough to damage their reputation, as had Juven’s apparent womanizing, but those things could be overcome. A criminal act or tie coming from the Ellenstein matter was different, and that Barris would have had to stop somehow.

Barris had not found anything particularly objectionable in the family history. It was a scandal, but a minor one in comparison to ones he knew of in other houses, and most of the families had even forgotten about it.

“I… I was born here. In Finsel. In the slums.” She twisted her hands under his, still nervous, now not looking at him. “I… I don’t remember much, just that I was happy, and then there was a fire. Everything was gone. My family. My home.”

He winced, feeling pity for the child she had been at the same time as trying to understand where he’d been at the time and what he could have done back then. Very little, he feared, even if he’d been nearly grown, as he had not finished his education and was still dependent on his brother for everything he had. Now he had some independence, but then?

Wait, could the fire she spoke of be _that_ fire?

“And… then Mom—Lady Eliza—came and took me away from there. She adopted me as her daughter and taught me many things, all so that I could restore the family’s honor and regain its place in the senate. That… it’s all I’ve ever known, and all I’ve done… it was for that, but… I lied to so many people, including you.”

Her eyes were bright, and he felt she would soon begin to cry. He saw no dishonesty in her now, her guilt was all too apparent. “I know it is not enough to say, but… I am sorry. I thought… I thought I was doing good.”

“You no longer believe that?”

She shook her head. “No. I don’t. I can’t. Not when everything I say or do is calculated to impress someone or gain their favor. I wear clothes I hate, I say things I don’t mean, and I am someone else to everyone I meet. I’ve been ordered to make friendships, and while I want to genuinely be friends, I know I’m doing things to benefit my mother and the patron. I’m only supposed to be friends with people I can use, not the ones I want to be, and I wasn’t supposed to care about anyone in the slums… I have lied about my favorite color. I… I feel like I can’t be any worse a person, not with all that I’ve done to further my family’s interests—”

“I do not believe that,” Barris said, and her tears did start then. He reached over to touch her cheek, wiping some away as he did. She was better than she knew, in spite of what she had done, since others had done far worse and felt it nothing. Many nobles abused privilege, including those in his own family. He wouldn’t say that there wasn’t some hurt from hearing her admit to lying to him, but he was not a fool, either. He knew how this world worked, and to expect someone to be at a party for reasons other than gain and appearances was ridiculous. In comparison to some, her motives were almost honorable. “You feel remorse. That makes you different from most of the people you’ve deceived. Most of them are using you as well, though you do not know it. You’ve become popular and fashionable, and being your friend is something of use to many, not to mention that you have, actually, been used to spread rumors about others.”

She winced. “I told stories about your family. I was told to by the patron, and I didn’t know why, but I did it anyway to please him. To please Mom, too, even though she was mad at me for not telling her that he spoke to me through that box and that I spoke to him on my own—I’m not supposed to know who he is, just to obey him.”

“Because he gave your family money to make it possible to restore your position.”

“Yes. Though… I don’t think that’s all he’s after. I think… he’s got more plans, but he doesn’t tell those to me or Mom. He… I don’t know what he wants, and that… scares me.” She blinked back the tears, trying to meet Barris’ gaze. “I am afraid of what he might do, of what I have done that helps him… I don’t know that it’s right if my family gets back their standing. Not with what we’ve already done to get it back, but I don’t… I’m scared.”

Barris pulled her close to him, holding her in his embrace. This was no true protection, but what he could give, he would. No one deserved to be used like this girl had been, even if her story was not that uncommon a thing—other nobles were expected to make matches in society, to lie their way into finer families and greater riches.

“Barris,” she whispered, and he wished there was more he could do for her. This was inadequate. “Why are you being so kind to me? I don’t deserve it.”

“Not all of your actions were duplicitous, and I have seen you defend friend and enemy alike. You have a good heart and a kindness that’s too often lacking from this world. You also have enough strength and determination to fight what battles you can even when you have no weapons and must do so with fashion and dance.”

She shook her head. “I don’t… You are…”

“I am not a man who makes emotional decisions,” he reminded her. “I considered the matter very carefully before I reached the decision that you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I did not do so blindly or because of a dress or a dance. I have seen more than just the side you showed me to win my favor, and while not all of it is admirable, a great deal of it is. I have my faults as well. You have not seen them as I do not show them in public, but they exist. If you believe otherwise… you will be the one disappointed in me. I am not perfect, simply… somewhat different from those around you. I have no interest in using you, though to say all my thoughts of you are pure… That is a lie.”

She flushed, but at least now her tears had stopped, which was a relief. “What?”

He did not want to explain that to her. She was still a bit too innocent for that, though if she accepted his proposal, he might someday show her such things.

“Is it enough to know that I understand what you did and why you did it? That I am not rejecting you because of your past?”

She wiped at her face. “I’m not a noble, though. I’m… I’m just a tool, aren’t I? I want to believe Mom loves me, that I am a real daughter to her, but I don’t… I’m not sure that’s true.”

* * *

She didn’t want to lift her head again. He was too kind, and she couldn’t bear it. She knew she didn’t deserve it, as much as he said otherwise. He was a good man, and if he truly was willing to overlook what she’d done in lying to him _and_ that she was not a noble, then she believed he was the most genuine friend she had.

He might even be more genuine in his feelings for her than her mother was, and that hurt so much she could hardly stand it.

“Having not witnessed your interactions with your mother, I cannot say what she feels,” Barris admitted, sounding so reasonable and wise as he always did. “I think she placed a heavy burden upon you that you have borne rather admirably, but I know little of her personally so I cannot say what she thinks. I… I do worry that you may be right about that fear, and I dislike that thought, but if that is true… then there is all the more reason for me to say the rest of what I have been thinking.”

She frowned. “The rest…?”

“I hate to see anyone using you,” he told her, once again touching her cheek. She felt his warm palm and wanted more of that same feeling he gave her. “I do not want to let you go back to that, but I also fear that if we do not know who your family’s patron is and what they want, you may be in danger. If you go against what they want...”

“I don’t know who he is or what he’d do if we went against him, if it would just be withdrawing the money and demanding our debt or something much, much worse.” She didn’t want to think about it, but she knew that was true. Since she had only her mother’s word that the patron was a good man and because he kept so much from both of them, she couldn’t be sure he was as benevolent as he seemed. He might well be a very, very bad man, someone like Black Gloves who pretended to be kind but was not. He’d used her, even kidnapped someone to manipulate her, and yet he acted as though he was nice. He wasn’t, and he was hardly the only person who said one thing and did another.

“Yes, exactly.”

She shivered, and he drew her closer, giving her more warmth and strength. “I don’t know what to do. I have nowhere to go if I leave my mother. My money is all the patron’s, and if I defy him, I… I don’t know that it would just be me that suffered. No, it wouldn’t be. It… He’d hurt my mom and maybe our servants.”

“Yes, that is possible.” Barris took a breath and let it out. “I’d like to take you home with me now, give you all the protection I can, but I do not know if that is enough.”

“What?”

“If this patron is as wealthy and powerful as he seems to be, then he may be from one of the four families. He might not be, he could be a foreign interest, but it’s dangerous either way. We don’t know the extent of this man’s power and reach. It may even...” He shook his head. “Such a thought is paranoid and has no basis, but even as I say this, I have to wonder...”

She swallowed, thinking back on her own thoughts on the patron. She lifted her head and faced Barris, trying to stay calm. “Do you think… it could be your brother? Duke Sakan?”

“Of all the people who would have the resources and the time to manipulate such a thing, he does come to mind,” Barris admitted with clear reluctance in his voice. “It’s true he never seemed to want the responsibilities of being the duke, and he left them to Juven as soon as he could, but he would have the money and the freedom to manipulate things from the shadows. Even my nephew has shown himself capable of a great deal of manipulation all the while convincing most that he thinks only of carnal pleasures.”

She nodded. She’d felt manipulated by the viscount a few times, and she knew that his act of paying attention to many women was an act when he was in love with Asteria alone. More than that, though… “If the patron is your brother, does that mean that… Would he hurt you? You are his brother, aren’t you? So… he wouldn’t go against you?”

“I am afraid I cannot guarantee that. There are several years between me and Langwon, and we were never close. You should know this.”

She grimaced, thinking back to what Barris had said about Juven and his father. He did not think much of either of them, and he’d been very clear about it. “I...”

“I think it would be unwise to take any large steps without gathering more information on your patron,” Barris told her. “As much as I would like to believe that I could adequately protect you on my own, it is my status as a part of the Sakan family that would enable that, as much as I worked to establish myself in the law aside from them. If we are correct and this patron of yours is my brother, then… without knowing what he wants, it is impossible to know the exact consequences of defying him. Even knowing him is not enough to allow for all the variables, since he has been absent for this long, and if he put such a plan in motion, he did so with such advance planning that whatever he intended would be great indeed...”

“You sound worried.”

“I’m just thinking.”

“No.” She had to disagree with that. He had a different tone when he was thinking aloud and distracted from the one that was full of concern. She knew him well enough to recognize the difference. “You’re worried.”

He sighed. “Coming from one of the four families, you get complacent at times. It is taken for granted that you have power and influence even if you don’t deserve it—and most of us don’t. I have worked for what I have, but I also know that my start was not that of others. I had nearly every advantage before me and used it. The money, the influence… I was able to go abroad and learn things others couldn’t because I bear the Sakan name. And if your patron proves to be my brother, then that name may not be the shelter it has been.”

She nodded, not sure she understood the full depth of his fear but with enough concern of her own to be scared. She feared retribution against her and her mother. She feared what her mother would do if the patron withdrew support—even that scenario alone was frightening.

She swallowed. “I know you think little of Juven’s opinions, but… there is one he said that the time confused me and now concerns me greatly. He told me that… I should have no particular fondness for any man because a lady in love loses her loveliness.”

“He’s an idiot. You could only be more beautiful when you looked upon the man you loved, though I suppose I am biased as I would like to be that man myself.”

She flushed. “I… I do not know for certain what I feel, but… I think it is… I did not question my role with my mother before you, and it hurt to lie to you, and I… I knew I could only answer your proposal if I were completely honest with you and I have been and I was not disappointed in your response… it was more than I thought I should hope for… and yet… I still do not dare name what I feel right now.”

“You have many emotions at present. I think it may be best to wait until you’ve had some chance to analyze them before you make any decisions, though that is hardly helpful at present when some decisions will have to be made—and soon.”

She frowned at him. Again, his tone made her anxious. “What decisions?”

“I see two options before you, both of them with a great deal of potential danger. I suppose there are others, too, though I must admit to some selfish inclination to the two I am about to speak of. One overly sentimental and rather foolish one is to do as I said and take you home with me today, ensuring your position in my home and under my protection without delay. There would be a civil ceremony if you agreed to that course, though even with that people will talk.”

“I heard wedding plans at the parties,” she said. “They sound frightful. A small ceremony would be nice, I think, even if it’s somewhat scandalous.”

“I admit to the same feeling, and I’d rather have you by my side where I can protect you sooner rather than later.”

She looked up at him, her heart racing. He was so sincere, and she didn’t get to see him so passionate most times, but right now, he was. He looked like he would carry her away if she only gave him the word, and with that came promises of things spoken of in sordid rumors unfit for ladies as her mother would say.

“And… the other option?”

“You return home and gather intelligence on your patron. We both will investigate him and his motives—I’d like you to discuss every request he made of you in the past and any future ones as well as any other details you can give me—so that we can determine his identity and his plan. Once we know that, we can make other arrangements for your continued safety. It… It would require our relationship to remain as it is now at least until we know more. I… do not wish anything to happen to you if they decide that you… that my offer to you lessens your value to them.”

“Barris...” She didn’t know what else to say. He was too kind, and she couldn’t begin to thank him. Her heart was heavy with all the thoughts of her mother and the patron, but he’d made it lighter by his willingness to help her. “I...”

“And you do not have to marry me for my assistance. I should have said that from the beginning. I… It would be easier to protect you if you were closer, though…” He coughed, looking decidedly uncomfortable. “I think my feelings for you may have… deepened in the light of your admissions. Your honesty...”

His hand touched her cheek again, and she closed her eyes, enjoying his touch and all it made her feel. She could be calm in spite of all the storm inside her, the warring emotions and confusion. She was so relieved—he’d accepted what she told him and hadn’t hated her or shunned her for it, and she somehow felt stronger than ever knowing that he knew the truth. He didn’t mind it. He even… liked it?

“Would you do me one favor?”

“I am so much in your debt that I could not possibly refuse.”

He shook his head. “No, if you wanted to, you could, and I do not want you to feel obligated to me. However, I should very much like to know your name.”

“Oh.” She smiled, pleased to be able to tell him. “I would like that. I know if we do this, I… I still will not be able to hear you use it, but to have someone know me… the true me, not the me that has gone from party to party currying favor… That is invaluable, Mr. Barris.”

“I count myself fortunate to have such a privilege,” he told her with a smile. “Though… I take it you have made a decision?”

She nodded. “I think so. I think we must know the identity of the patron and his intentions, and once we do… I can only imagine we will be much closer by then and the few doubts I have now will be gone and the answer I want to give will not just be tentative but firm and one I hope will make both of us very happy.”

He smiled again before leaning his head against hers. “I admit I had done my best to prepare myself for rather a harsh rejection as I know well you are capable of because of your efforts for my niece, and so even a tentative promise seems a victory well beyond my imagining.”

She shook her head. “No. As I told you before—any girl should be so lucky as to have your affection. I still feel… unworthy of it.”

“No. I do not believe that at all.”

She took her hand and covered his. “Then… we have an understanding. Once we know that the patron is not a threat… we will…”

“Are you that ashamed to say it?”

“No, it’s just… it’s a big commitment, the rest of our lives, and what if I did fall from grace when people know the truth of where I was born? Wouldn’t that hurt everything you’ve worked for?”

“It is possible in some circles, though as I told you before—the Sakan name carries a great deal of weight and even if it did not… I have felt for a very long time that things in Finsel need to change, and I have done what I can as a part of the law, but perhaps it is not enough. I worry sometimes that it is not. If that is true… I may need to look for other means. I think I would feel the same if someone tried to cause trouble over my position over something like your birthplace. If the Ellensteins recover their status, you are no worse in the eyes of the law than Lynna is, being illegitimate but claimed by the duke and the duchess.”

“Oh.”

He sat back, taking a long look at her. “I believe that, given your personality and tenacity, your ability to go after all you need to despite the torture that is fashion and the tedium of every ball we attend, you would inspire great feelings in people even were the truth known. What you have achieved does owe to your adoptive mother’s teaching, but do not belittle your own accomplishments. She did not do so much to restore the family name—you did. You were the one that brought divided families together, that befriended nobles and civilians alike, and you cared enough to make certain that you were a true friend to them, not just someone who used them. You joined the game to play it the way all nobles do, but you didn’t follow their rules. You made your own and still succeeded beautifully.”

She hadn’t accomplished that much. “You flatter me.”

“Only in the most sincere way. I… I have no pretenses with you, I swear that.”

“You are an honest man.”

“Guilty.”

She laughed, twining her fingers with his and not wanting this moment to end, though she knew that it must. She did like the idea of rushing off with him now, but if they did that, they might cause themselves and others a lot of trouble.

“What is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“You were smiling, and now you are not. What is wrong?”

“I… I know I made the right choice, but I still do not wish to part from you.”

“Nor I you, but I suppose this way we have a reason to look forward to the balls that we must attend. You will be there, and I know you have promised to be mine. I… I think this will be a remarkable test of our patience and willpower.”

“Yes. I do, too.”

“In fact, mine is so lacking now that I do rather wish to tell the driver to take us to the civil registry immediately.”

She laughed again, knowing that she was very fortunate indeed to have the love of a man like this. Time would prove the depth of her own feelings, but she was almost so certain now she didn’t even know why she’d doubted herself.

This was love, and she looked forward to feeling more and more of it in the future, one they would create together.


End file.
